I haven’t been on here in a while. I promised a review of Seeking a Friend, but I don’t know if I would do a good enough job on it now, being so far removed from it. I might try it again another time, just because it might be interesting to try to review it as I try to recall it.
I have had a lot of time alone here in Michigan to think to myself, and though these ideas are not new, or original, they have been preoccupying. Being alone, it has been hard to avoid imagining the perception of my existence to the people I know. At any, or all moments when I am alone, I exist to no one I know. Basically I exist to no one. This is not a negative or pessimistic, or cynical viewpoint. Not meant to be depressing. It’s just merely a comment on that common human condition.
Human beings are instinctively selfish beings. That’s not a bad thing. It’s evident as a type of survival mechanism, a manifestation of our desire to validate our own existence. We need that selfishness to live. The selfishness I’m trying to talk about is not “selfish,” defined by everyone being only interested in their own wants and needs. We are all selfish because our minds, our perception of existence, is controlled by our own window. It has to be that way. We wouldn’t be able to function outside of our own minds.
Because of this, when someone I know, or someone I love is not within sight of me, or not within any sensual range of me, they fail to exist in my world. Right now, the only things that are real in my world are this computer. The cars driving by my window. The cat who just came in the room. The tree outside; the house across the street. Everything I see or feel at this moment. When the cat was not in this room, she did not exist to me. I had no conception of her existence. As soon as those cars pass on the street to the point I cannot see them, they don’t exist anymore. I don’t know where they’re going, or who’s driving. At the same time, I have never existed to them.
This is true for the people I love and know as well. I know the person I love and cherish the most is at work right now. She is doing any number of tasks related to her job, and I can visualize her doing any of those things right now. I can remember what she was wearing to work today; that helps make it more realistic. Before I visualized any of this, however, she did not exist in my world. I was not thinking about her at work, and if I did, and did not visualize it, she still failed to exist. Her “being at work” without any understanding of what that means means just as much as her being anywhere else, away from me, away from my world.
No one thinks, or visualizes about the people they know, love, care about, or like, most of the time they are apart. Existence, in my world, as it is defined by me, is the experience of that person or persons being with me one way or another. At this moment, I can guarantee, not only are most, if not all the people I know are not thinking about me right now, but if they were, they don’t have an idea of what I am doing. They can’t pinpoint it, so they can’t pinpoint my existence right now. In their minds, I don’t exist. Just like in my mind, they don’t exist.
I suppose what I’m saying with all this crap is that existence is subjective. It is subjective, limited, and rare.
None of the people who read this know who I am, and if they do, they are not reading this as I write it. So I don’t exist in their world either.
I could keep going and elaborate this into other areas of interest, like entertainment and celebrity, but I think I’ve gone on long enough with an idea I don’t find to be very original. Or well written out.