I will admit something very easy to admit about myself: I am lazy. I am a procrastinator. I avoid meaningful pursuits at all costs, to the agony of my soul. It is beyond mere aggravation at this point – it is maddening. I spend almost all of my free time away from work playing (and replaying) old video games.
I do it even when I hate the idea of doing it. I do it when I demand myself not to when I get home. I know I have the potential to do so much more than this – more than, well, nothing – and still I continue. I have created no new stories to tell over the past two years, I will have nothing to provide to my classmates when (IF) I go to my ten-year high school reunion next year. I have purely and utterly wasted any given abilities I was born with, to this point in my life, and either I continue to waste my life away doing nothing and providing nothing, or I start right now (tomorrow) pursuing something greater.
This is why, to me, the exhausted idea of a zombie apocalypse is a good idea (I swear to god, if I hear or see someone else say this one more time – after this – I will lose my mind). A world reminiscent of something like The Walking Dead is appealing to so many people just like me, if for no other reason than it is simply an ultimatum. It is a due date for a homework assignment – the assignment being “become the person you always should have been, or else.” In a world like that, your history is wiped away. You get to begin fresh, forget your failings in the world before, because it doesn’t exist anymore. An apocalypse, or collapse of society is a fantasy to the lazy, to the losers.
It really shouldn’t be, because when faced with an insurmountable challenge, we have proven time and again we would elect to fail. We would probably be most of the first people to die. Us and the fatties.
I enjoyed the first season of The Walking Dead because it wasn’t about zombies, and the amount of pure, unrestricted gore they could heap out. It was about the moral dilemmas that come from a society that has failed, and the repercussions that come from the decisions one has to make for their own survival. The first season of The Walking Dead was a human story; the second was some of the same, but budgetary restrictions forced them into soap opera territory. I lost interest by the third season – it gave up on what I enjoyed most about the show.
The latest game I have been wasting all of my time on has been the Telltale Games adaptation on The Walking Dead. In it, you play Lee Everett who blah blah (if you want a review of the game, you can go many other places on the internet – I won’t make you sit through another one)…I have played through the first three episodes so far, and so far I have enjoyed it. I would only describe it as a concentration of the moral dilemmas one would face in an environment you find yourself in in this game. The game almost amounted to a checklist of situations the characters from the show (and most likely the graphic novel – no, I didn’t read them) faced, and I got to decide what to do. The game says it adapts to my decisions, but so far I haven’t seen much in the way of a non-linear story progression, especially when I tried replaying different parts of the episodes… …but blah blah. I’m sorry, that’s what I was trying to avoid. Long story short, I have enjoyed playing the game, but it has reawakened the feelings I described at the beginning of this post that I had when I originally watched The Walking Dead. I wonder how capable I would be leading a group of people I barely knew against the end of the world, forced into being the person I always knew I could be if I was not so lazy now. I imagine briefly the decisions I would have to make, but more intently I imagine my abilities as a survivor, and how I would be able to survive. Of course I imagine that I may not be one of the people who survive…then I imagine how impossible a zombie apocalypse really would be, and realize I need to do something in this world. So I write a blog about zombie apocalypses, and officially lose my mind.